Tag Archives: i am SUCH a good time

Just a regular day at the gym

Posted on by B

I woke up late
(because Nesto woke me up to put me back to sleep)
(bow chicka bow wow)
(sorry. Too much info?)
So I decided to do a short run and then hit the weights
And while I was ACTIVELY WORKING OUT ON THE MACHINES this man starts talking to me.
Why do you have a brace on?
What happened?
Did you get it from your MD?
They don’t have braces for your hip, do they? HAHAHAHA
Me: No, Sir. They just give you a new one.
(#jerks4life)
He finally goes away.

THEN. As I was getting a paper towel to wipe down a machine that some asshat left soaking wet
He catches me at the dispenser:
Do you come here every day?
Me: Just during the week. I hit the beach on the weekends.
OH IS THAT RIGHT?
Do you swim or layout?
Are you married?
OH. You ARE?
Me: Yes, sir. 20+ years.
AWWWW.. He’s a lucky man…
I was hoping you were single…
OKAY SIR. WELL LET ME GET BACK TO THE MACHINES.

And that’s how at not even 6AM, I got hit on by some 70+ year old man.

As you can tell, my weekend was pretty uneventful

Posted on by B

Friday I went to Happy Hour with The Man’s best friend, because coincidentally he works in the building next door. And my friend went with me because even though *I* didn’t think he’d ever try to roofie my drink, my friend wasn’t so sure. He didn’t. He DID, however, try to keep us there all night, so we WALKED (about a mile and a half?) back to our parking lot, and on the way got tossed out of some BET Award party we crashed that they were having at the SLS Hotel.

Saturday, The Man had to spend all of his Saturday trying to fix my window that RANDOMLY fell off the track, while I spent a large portion of my day sitting in the worlds most uncomfortable chair. While watching NASCAR. Which, WTF? She finally changed the channel to the Kardashians. Which I’ve never seen up until then. I guess she didn’t notice ’cause she was on the phone.

Sidenote: I’m sure I’ve mentioned the lady who braids my hair is African? She spent a significant amount of time on the phone talking about somebody. I really wish that I could understand her, because it had her ALL RILED UP. Also? I totally wanted to tweet that but she was looking DIRECTLY INTO MY PHONE from her view.

Related: I wanted to start looking at porn, just to see if she’d admit to being nosey. But I DIDN’T want to piss her off because y’all don’t even know how cheap her prices for my very awesome braids.

Sunday, I had to take The Brat to Anime Expo. And then my BIL called to ask me to babysit at the last minute.

He didn’t leave the carrier that he always sits in.

And he forgot his binky. Which he apparently can’t live without.

COMPLETELY RELATED: THANK GOD I DON’T WANT ANYMORE KIDS BECAUSE OMG. GO THE F$&^ TO SLEEP KID.  I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOU ALL NIGHT. I’M TIRED. YOU’RE TIRED, IT’S 10 O’CLOCK AT NIGHT AND YOU DON’T WANT THE “REPLACEMENT BINKY” OR YOUR BOTTLE. JUST GO THE HELL TO SLEEP UNTIL YOUR DAD GETS BACK.

 

So. How was y’all’s weekend?