Monthly Archives: March 2013

Happy Monday!

Posted on by B

You know how people don’t like to share the elevator?

SO. This broad tries to run for the elevator
And hit the button like she doesn’t see people headed for it..
AND she stands in the corner so she couldn’t reach the button to open the doors
(I’m also guessing she was hoping nobody saw her)
EVEN IF SHE HAD BEEN INCLINED TO.
Which she clearly wasn’t.

So I made a dash for the elevator
AND got on
AND THEN held the elevator for everybody else
(Which was only 3 more people)
AND THEN… I laughed at her when she got off with an attitude.

Sometimes the best way to improve my mood is to ruin somebody else’s. I know. People won’t usually admit to it. But I will. Because I’m a jerk.

Can we just talk about my hair for a minute…?

Posted on by B

I don’t care if Michelle Obama *IS* the first lady

She’s not the first lady to ever have bangs and Goddammit,

If people don’t stop saying “Oh, look at you and your Michelle Obama bangs”

I’m gonna punch somebody in the junk. Hard. TWICE.

 

EFF YOUR I…. I had bangs previously, and they were just bangs.

NOW, they are FLOTUS bangs, and no. They are not.

 

 

They’re just damn bangs, and I wish everybody would stop.

Because the next person that says that is going to get the whole

“OH, ARE YOU SAYING THAT BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH BLACK AND HAVE BANGS?”

And that’s going to be awkward. For them.

Because that will certainly be my intention.

 

Sidenote: I’m sure the FLOTUS is a nice lady, and yeah, her hair looks nice. But what if I HATED her? What if that was the equivalent of calling me a dirty rotten whore? (Don’t be that person that assumes that all black people must love Michelle Obama. I mean, I MIGHT like her, but I may also think she’s an asshole. It’s entirely possible, guys.)

But maybe consider that  it has NOTHING AT ALL to do with famous person currently associated with that hairstyle. My cousin (of the same name) ALSO has this hairstyle. Maybe that’s why I did it. OR MAYBE I JUST WANTED BANGS.