Monthly Archives: July 2012

I went to the movies!

Posted on by B

Last night I went to see the Dark Knight Rises. 

I’m not going to spoil it for anyone. Except to say: I loved it. It was awesome; you should see it. AND it was brought to my attention that a better film choice for us women to see is Magic Mike. To which I say, what a load of bullshit. We DEFINITELY made the better choice.

ANYWAYS. A trailer for Man of Steel showed. I HAD NO IDEA THERE WAS A NEW SUPERMAN MOVING COMING OUT. *ahem* And then the guy behind me starts complaining.

“OMG. ANOTHER REMAKE. HOW MANY REMAKES CAN THEY MAKE OF ONE COMIC BOOK HERO?  THEY JUST KEEP MAKING REMAKE, AFTER REMAKE, AFTER REMAKE.”

Me: Are you serious, dude? We’re sitting in sold out theatre getting ready to watch BATMAN*. 

 

I’m pretty sure the irony was lost on him.

 

*Yes, I am a delight to take out in public.

Everyone mentions how drunk they got when they write complaints, right?

Posted on by B

I am frequently enlisted to write letters for people because I love to say “FUCK YOU” in the most professional way possible. But I hate writing letters of complaint. I don’t know why, because obviously they are the people who need it most. But after talking to my Mom about my horrible flight from Vegas, she told me to write a letter. And because my mommy knows best, I did:

Dear Southwest,

I’m not really sure what say, except that I’m fairly unhappy that it seems as though my last few flights with you guys have ended up with me waiting in the airport for hours while the people that I’m meeting up with at the destination are waiting on me.

 My flight was about an hour delayed GETTING to Vegas  and two hours leaving Las Vegas. And I’m not going to lie to you: After lying by the pool drinking for an entire weekend, I was MORE than ready to go home. I was tired, a little bit hungover and the very last thing I wanted to do was spend several hours hanging around the airport. WHICH, by the way was super crowded because, OBVIOUSLY.

 Anyways, I know that y’all are reasonably priced — which is sort of the point when you plan on leaving all of your hard earned dollars in Vegas, and I really had to think long and hard about booking this flight due to your track record for previous flights. I’m not generally a complainer, but, I just feel like you guys should know:

 It’s driving me crazy that you guys are super convenient as far and dates/times I want to go somewhere, but I can’t trust you to get me there when you say because YOU ARE ALWAYS BEING DELAYED. I wasn’t even the only flight being delayed while I was in the terminal. I heard an audible groan from another one of your flights that had ALSO been delayed. AGAIN.

 Please. Let me love you. Don’t make me find another airline. I don’t want to. But I will, if these keeps happening.

–Me.

I know my mom is SUPER PROUD she gave me that advice.

As you can tell, my weekend was pretty uneventful

Posted on by B

Friday I went to Happy Hour with The Man’s best friend, because coincidentally he works in the building next door. And my friend went with me because even though *I* didn’t think he’d ever try to roofie my drink, my friend wasn’t so sure. He didn’t. He DID, however, try to keep us there all night, so we WALKED (about a mile and a half?) back to our parking lot, and on the way got tossed out of some BET Award party we crashed that they were having at the SLS Hotel.

Saturday, The Man had to spend all of his Saturday trying to fix my window that RANDOMLY fell off the track, while I spent a large portion of my day sitting in the worlds most uncomfortable chair. While watching NASCAR. Which, WTF? She finally changed the channel to the Kardashians. Which I’ve never seen up until then. I guess she didn’t notice ’cause she was on the phone.

Sidenote: I’m sure I’ve mentioned the lady who braids my hair is African? She spent a significant amount of time on the phone talking about somebody. I really wish that I could understand her, because it had her ALL RILED UP. Also? I totally wanted to tweet that but she was looking DIRECTLY INTO MY PHONE from her view.

Related: I wanted to start looking at porn, just to see if she’d admit to being nosey. But I DIDN’T want to piss her off because y’all don’t even know how cheap her prices for my very awesome braids.

Sunday, I had to take The Brat to Anime Expo. And then my BIL called to ask me to babysit at the last minute.

He didn’t leave the carrier that he always sits in.

And he forgot his binky. Which he apparently can’t live without.

COMPLETELY RELATED: THANK GOD I DON’T WANT ANYMORE KIDS BECAUSE OMG. GO THE F$&^ TO SLEEP KID.  I’M NOT GOING TO HOLD YOU ALL NIGHT. I’M TIRED. YOU’RE TIRED, IT’S 10 O’CLOCK AT NIGHT AND YOU DON’T WANT THE “REPLACEMENT BINKY” OR YOUR BOTTLE. JUST GO THE HELL TO SLEEP UNTIL YOUR DAD GETS BACK.

 

So. How was y’all’s weekend?