Every once in a while, I’ll tell my sister a story and her response is “Did you really say that?” The answer has always been yes. I guess she asks because whatever I said seems like a completely ridiculous thing to say to another person.
But. I maintain that I live in some kind of bizarro world where people often say things to me that are completely out of order, but act like it is the most normal thing in the world to say to another person:
So Tuesday, I had to go run errands. I have a dress which I LOVE, but is ridiculously unflattering. It makes my boobs look HUGE (okay, yeah…I have huge boobs, but even bigger than normal) and its unflattering tummy-wise. Why did I go out in it? Because I don’t care. It’s comfy, and it was first thing I saw.
ANYWAYS, I ran into my sister-in-law. Who ended up needing a ride, so I dropped her at my FIL’s house. And her aunt was there.
An aunt, who, I would like to add, has known me for enough years to know that I am in NO WAY planning to have any other kids.
Aunt: Oh look at you. What is *THIS*?
And then you guys? SHE RUBS MY BELLY.
Okay. Now I’m going to interject to say TWO THINGS:
- Every woman should know NOT to assume another woman is pregnant.
- Just because you are older than I am (60ish to my 30ish), doesn’t NOT mean that I’m just going to stand there and let you insult me.
Me: Yeah, that’s fat. [And then I rubbed her belly RIGHT BACK.]
Just like that. Only smaller.
I actually think that was an appropriate response to that sort of question. I sort of feel like if you feel like it’s okay to say these kinds of things to me, I’m allowed to respond in kind. No?